Senioritis

I have senioritis something awful right now!
To be honest with you I have had it for about two years now but it's kicking in full force this year. I feel zero motivation to go to class or do my work. I do both of these things and I am doing well in my classes but most days I just don't care.

I don't want to wish away this year. Its my last year of college and I want to enjoy this "carefree" lifestyle while I still can. But with that light at the end of the tunnel so close, it just becomes harder and harder to do that.

Part of this was triggered by senior sem on Friday. We read our manifestos. Now this is a paper that I never wanted to write. It has been stressing me out all semester. But once I wrote it, it was really not big deal. But when everyone went around the room and told what they wrote about it just become this really emotional day. Writing down what you feel about theatre but saying out loud is a whole other beast.

This weekend was also KK's wedding and let me tell you how much that did not help my I'm ready to graduate mindset. It is still the strangest thing in the world to me that my friends and I are old enough to be getting married. Let alone that I am engaged. The wedding was a great way to spend time with friends that I haven't really gotten to spend anytime with in a while. It also made me want to get married so much more! Three years is such a long time to wait. All I want to do is plan things and try on pretty dresses but I know that I still have over 2 years to do all this and that I shouldn't start now.

Sometimes I look back on my life here at CSU and I just have to laugh. I laugh at the good and the bad and the things that I have gone through. It just all seems so crazy. I wouldn't trade any experience I have had here. Sometimes I wish I could talk to my freshman self and just let her know that in the end it will all be ok. Like we said in senior sem the only advise we would give the incoming freshmen is to fail. Fail big time. And when your world feels like it is crashing down around you and you have to rediscover who you are, well then you know you are doing something right.