CSU lost a student today. I really didn't even know him. Was introduced to him at a party and knew of him. And yet I still feel so incredibly sad for everyone who did know him, and his family. It sends replays into my mind of the moment I found out that Rea died. I don't wish these moments on anyone. All we can do is pray and hope and be there for each other.

Rest in Peace Joel.

Chaucy Monster

I had to make one of the toughest decisions I have ever made yesterday.

Chaucer had gone in to get neutered and while he was in we had him tested for Feline Leukemia because one of the other kittens in his litter had it. Since only one of the other kittens had it we were sure we had nothing to worry about but just wanted to get him tested. Well at 9:30 in the morning I got the call that he did in fact have it. My world came crashing own. I know it seems a bit melo dramatic that I was this upset over my cat being sick but really my little world didn't h ave far to fall. You see this also happened to be the morning of my best friend's father's funeral.

I called Josh to ask him what he thought we should do but he was just as distraught as I was. There were two choices. 1. Let him live. and 2. Have him put down. I wanted nothing more than to let him live. To have my little boy come home that very night as if nothing had happened. But I knew that by letting him live meant a lifetime of suffering for my little monster.

The way this illness works in cats is they either get sick and die or they live the rest of their life never being sick but always able to pass it on to others. But were we willing to take this 50/50 shot that he would not suffer? Did I mention that a cats life expectancy with leukemia is 3 months to 3 years? Our time with him would be numbered. Also he could never be around babies Even though cats can not spread the illness to humans a babies immune system is so low that it would still make them sick. Knowing that Josh and I want to start a family in about 5 years also made our time with Chaucer limited. And what were we going to do say well we wnat kids now so I guess it's time to put the cat down.

If you haven't already guessed we opted to have Chaucer put down. After seeing Ghost ( our yard cat) suffer until the day he died I just couldn't do that again. Of course I wasn't in Columbus when I made this choice so coming home today was so much fun. Walking in the front door and not being greeted by him was so very sad. My tiny house now feels large and empty. I have been the only one home for most of the day and I feel so depressed to be here by myself.

That little boy drove me up the wall. He chewed threw my cell phone charger, her chewed threw my ipod charger. He eat anything he could fit in his mouth. He always attacked my knitting and woke me up at 6:30 every morning. He bit my face and attacked my feet and always jumped in the sink.

And I am going to miss him so so much.

Nannying it up and some updates

For a month now I have been nannying to amazing little girls. It a job that is so much more amazing than I ever thought it would be. It is days full of playing and laughing a lots and lots of play dough. I am not saying that it is always easy. There are hissy fits and sibling rivalry but it is all a learning experience. I love these two little girls so much already.

Because of nannying I am busy all the time. Get off work around 5 trying to be in bed by 10 and trying to have a social life.... which for me really means knitting a whole lot. I am totally ok with this is :)

Springer starts back up on the 17th and I am so excited to be working in theatre again.

On a much sadder note something that I have been dreading for about 7 years now happened. My best friend's dad passed away . For some reason I thought that since we knew it had been such a long time coming that it would be easier but it just isn't. The Donaldsons have been my second family my entire life. I know that he is not suffering anymore and that he is at peace and that makes me feel a little better, but it will all just take time.

Things are going in a good direction right now. And I am happy with they way things are :)